There’s a saying about the three stages of life: acquiring stuff, maintaining stuff and getting rid of stuff.
Have you ever had the job of downsizing a grandparent’s, parent’s or your own home? Emotional baggage is so heavy!
Whether it be because of death or a move, decluttering is a tough gig.
We all know it's a consumer society and, frankly, we’ve all got way too much — of everything.
It makes it even harder if you happen to be sentimental.
That cracked pot sat on Grandma's table.
Oh, I can't get rid of Grandpa's pipe.
You feel attached to every single thing, whether it be an old letter someone sent to you, a greeting card or a craft your child made in school.
Don’t we all have that favourite mug, plate, glass or tray?
Maybe, in some cases, I’m talking more to women, although not exclusively.
I’m sure there are lots of men who love their stein collection, tools or books.
If you watch any organizing programs, the experts are going to tell you two things. One, it’s all clutter. And two, nobody wants your stuff.
Let’s assume the majority of us are not really hoarders, because that is a legitimate mental health issue, usually based in a traumatic loss in early life. Instead, let's say we are "over shoppers" with too many collections.
According to JUUJBOX, clutter reflects our internal state. Experts say the accumulation of items is tied to emotions — retaining things can be linked to fears of scarcity or an attachment to the past.
A UCLA study found those living in cluttered homes had elevated cortisol levels, a hormone linked to depression. Call it sensory overload.
Matt Paxton, a downsizing expert, known for 12 seasons of TV's Hoarders, does an exercise called "the legacy list." He suggests you write down 10 items that would explain to a future generation who you were and what you stood for.
Years ago, we did something similar, but we called it the fire list. If your home was on fire, aside from people and pets, what 10 items would you rush to save.
The majority of people would likely says purse or wallet with money and documents, keys, family pictures, jewelry, etc.
It is not so much the list that is important, but the fact you likely couldn’t lay your hands on any of it quickly.
Speaking for myself, my purse is wherever I tossed it the day before and keys are hopefully in said purse, but could also likely be on a counter or in the couch, the passport is somewhere in a desk, pictures are scattered everywhere. You get the idea.
If these are the most important things, why are they not in logical, sensible locations?
Paxton says, “It's not about the stuff, it's about the stories. We hang onto possessions because of the memories attached to them. It is not the sofa. It's Grandma sitting on that sofa through 35 Christmases. If you don’t get the stories out, your life doesn’t move forward.
Capture the special stories, either by voice or video recording them, or simply writing them down.
Share the stories. Take high-quality photographs of your items and include a story and put them in a designated spot — a scrapbook or box on the coffee table.
Let the stuff go. Once you’ve made the decision to get rid of stuff, get it out of the house immediately. Take a drive to your local donation centre, women’s shelter or pet rescue. Or if it's garbage, junk it.
That old saying, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” still holds true.
I think it depends of the possessions, too.
Cleaning out other people’s stuff is way easier than dealing with your own. It's tougher when it belonged to a family member now departed. We somehow think they are watching us from a cloud, in horror, as we junk the old china or blankets.
Realistically, they probably aren’t. They were done with it and now you are done with it and it's time to release the guilt.
People who are of a certain generation feel this need to save it for the children and the grandchildren.
Harsh reality check: They don’t hold the same affection for dishes, mugs, old furniture or much of anything we treasure. They have enough of their own junk.
We have to be ruthless. Our homes are too jam-packed and we are smothering.
My clothes look dated but not old enough to be vintage. Broken things are never going to get repaired. Old books are never likely to be re-read, because who has time?
Let’s face it, we don’t even like half the stuff we continue to shuffle from basement to attic to garage.
But, it was a gift you say. No, give yourself the gift of some space to breathe.
Give your family the gift of lightening their burden when you’re gone.
Boxes at the ready? Tissue paper up. Let’s kick clutter to the curb.
Trash pickup is on Tuesdays here.